It's Sunday morning as I write this. On some Sunday mornings, I enjoy listening to the retro American Top 40 countdown that is played on XM Satellite Radio's 70s on 7 channel. Today, they're broadcasting the countdown from March 13, 1976. Sometimes the 70s countdown has some seriously corny songs that I haven't heard since I was a kid. I swear, sometimes I think I must be a masochist to listen to 70s on 7, albeit only occasionally. This morning, I have the volume down to keep from waking my sleepyhead daughter.
I was just about to start work on the post that I had originally planned to write today when I distinctively picked up on the phrase "organic cooking" in what I'd then notice was the their Top 10 song for that week. I listened to the radio constantly back in 1976 (I turned 10 that year) but I thankfully don't recall ever hearing this song before.... and hope I can get through at least three more decades before hearing it again. But oh how the lyrics are admittedly funny...
Junk Food Junkie by Larry Gross
You know I love that organic cooking
I always ask for more
And they call me Mr Natural
On down to the health food store
I only eat good sea salt
White sugar don't touch my lips
And my friends is always begging me
To take them on macrobiotic trips
Yes, they are
Oh, but at night I stake out my strong box
That I keep under lock and key
And I take it off to my closet
Where nobody else can see
I open that door so slowly
Take a peek up north and south
Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie
And I pop it in my mouth
Yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me
Well, at lunchtime you can always find me
At the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar
Just sucking on my plain white yogurt
From my hand thrown pottery jar
And sippin' a little hand pressed cider
With a carrot stick for dessert
And wiping my face in a natural way
On the sleeve of my peasant shirt
Oh, yeah
Ah, but when that clock strikes midnight
And I'm all by myself
I work that combination on my secret hideaway shelf
And I pull out some Fritos corn chips
Dr Pepper and an ole Moon Pie
Then I sit back in glorious expectation
Of a genuine junk food high
Oh yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
Oh, but at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me
My friends down at the commune
They think I'm pretty neat
Oh, I don't know nothing about arts and crafts
But I give 'em all something to eat
I'm a friend to old Euell Gibbons
And I only eat home grown spice
I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn
Filled up with my brown rice
Yes, I do
Oh, folks but lately I hae been spotted
With a Big Mac on my breath
Stumbling into a Colonel Sanders
With a face as white as death
I'm aftraid someday they'll find me
Just stretched out on my bed
With a handful of Pringles potato chips
And a Ding Dong by my head
In the daytime I'm Mr Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me
And if you're curious to what the #1 song was for that week: December, 1963 by the Four Seasons.
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